I come as I am! by Tjs GOD~owned©

Posted: January 28, 2012 in GOD~owned Testomonies

I have a spoken word……

I am an ocean of deep thoughts. I am a river of flooding emotions. I am a soaking sea of feelings. I am being drowned out by my deepest thoughts. My thoughts are too much for the world to understand. I feel like they should be suppressed, but is that wise? When I suppress my inner thoughts they don’t flee from me only circle round & round within. They hide in the pit of my fat & cause my stomach to rumble. It moves up &down my spine causing pains in my back. My shoulders are heavy from lifting the weight of my suppressed thoughts. They tear through my heart & rape my tongue almost to death. I am only by force opening my lips to release the truth layin uncomfortably inside. I can’t hold on to it any longer.  I must speak what is being spoken to me. lCorithians 2:5-That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men but in the power of GOD. I must be obedient to the one that has created my every being.  I believe in what believes in me enough to open my eyes daily to see the evidence of Creations existence. I am only being used to spread the word. I can only share what I have come to learn. The truth is there is only one way. The truth is there is only one truth. The truth is JESUS said in John 14:6 I am the way the truth & the life no man cometh to the FATHER but by me. The truth is If you don’t care to know the truth you will not be set free indeed. I have suppressed my thoughts because they are not well received. My thoughts are only a series of my opinions accumulated over a span of my lifetime. My words are only that my words. BUT what you don’t know is as I speak I think to myself. As I think to myself I have thoughts of what to do about the fact that I am involved in a moment of influence. If ever I have that thought I always want my words to be covered. I immediately say to myself llCorithians 10:5-Casting down imaginations & every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of GOD & bringing into captivity EVERy thought to the obedience of CHRIST. Not only do I cover my words but I drench them. I pray while I speak. I pray in the Name of JESUS let my words NoT be from me but You LORD that I am not misleading in ANYway & I represent You right. I don’t just think before I speak. I pray before I speak. I not only pray before I speak I drench my words. My thoughts & words are covered by the Blood of JESUS. I have emptied my ocean by releasing my thoughts. I have drained my river by drying my emotions. I have soaked up the sea & my feelings are settled. I have told you the truth…  as I write in Another 3a.m waking moment… I am taking this time to talk with You ABBA my Father about how I’ve been throughout these waking hours.  I haven’t been adjusting very well to the changes that are being made & I’m starting to revert back into a coward. Everytime I perform the slaying satan prophetic poem I get attacked & have to cry out to You immediately needing to be saved. You wait a while maybe even a little while longer before any assistance has been made.  I say to myself I’m doing this all for You FATHER but I can’t seem to believe you would leave Your child to be snacked on by Lions & wolves. I’m not questioning anything You do I’m just letting You know how I’m doing.  I often catch myself watching others prance around without a care in the world like they are never going to die. All the while I’m constantly watching what I say, don’t want to disobey, & got a crook in my neck from watching for You in the sky.  I thought I didn’t care what happened to me in this short life You gave for me to help set the lost free. I really do care but bypass my feelings & emotions knowing You are greater than thee.  I don’t want to give-up nor turn my focus to the right nor to the left. I want to be closer than close pleasing trusting obeying Your Will & NOthing else. I love You LORD, You love me LORD, and we both don’t want to see anyone on Earth perish. A love like Yours is unconditional & these 3 a.m. talks I cherish. ©

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